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You don't expect to be 80 years old and still have doubts about who you are. And yet here I am, alone in this faded room, sprawled in what I can only describe as my deathbed, unable to remember a single pleasant memory. The unseen in my life? I never cared to answer that kind of question, but I never imagined I would sincerely be asking it to myself. I am used to questions that deal with more important matter, such as: Will my salary rise this month? Will my new market idea make me richer? For 80 years, I never failed to answer them correctly. Everything around me became darker as a not so unfamiliar melody begun to stroke my ears. It was composed of simple tones, somehow similar to swing sets going back and forth with the wind. For unknown reasons, I knew this melody carried something heavy and distant, something that goes beyond time's continuum. It kept on playing, unlocking feelings I never thought existed. If I were to name that new sensation, I would baptize it... Ugh... I cannot seem to find the appropriate expression. It seems like a word I haven't used in ages, it vanished from my conscience. I cannot release my last breath before this song ends, at least not until I remember what it represents. I started losing myself in this mysterious sea of... yet again, out of words. <b>" That's a wonderful melody..." <b>" It's... for you." I remember now. It's the sound of summer, the one I made for my lover back in the days. My flute would just follow her smile, and then let out notes that would transform into this amazing melody. She could say whatever she wanted, but she was the one that created it. The sound of summer that quickly became the sound of fall, turning into the sound of winter before screaming the name of spring. I am sure it kept on cycling over and over, but I just chose not to hear it. And that's how fast the years passed, hiding behind the seasons, to become decades. I never heard that melody again. I judged the sound of coins, clashing in my purse, more satisfying. Then I knew... <b> If I were to name that new sensation, I would baptize <b>it... Agony <b> I started losing myself in this mysterious sea of... Tears I realized what I did with my life during all these years. I threw it all away for something that now seems worthless to me. I missed every ecstatic part of it. The hardest part was to acknowledge that I had it all, but decided to shut my ears. I couldn't feel nostalgia to ease my pain, for I never experienced these moments. The unseen in my life? That seems like an easy answer right now. I guess when you are in this situation, the last thing you can hope for is company. The melody was fading away, as another one, darker and colder was raising. I was not ready to hear it yet, but here it was. --Haunted by the emptiness of the room, breathing became challenging. I never needed someone to be next to me as much as now. --The tears I never saw running in my face were burning fiercly. And realizing this co-dependance at the very last minute was unbearable. --My heart was sinking rapidly... lower ... lower... until it let out it lasts, weak and full of remorse beat. I choked on the wonderful thought of what could've happened if I kept on listening to her melody, before hearing my own death rattle. If only... <b> The unseen in my life? -Everything- `Fawkes. | |